The actions are a result of an inner drive to alleviate the stress inside the psyche.
The mind wants to release the obsessive thoughts about the other individual and pushes the participant to react.
If participants are aware of the behavior, having an open discussion about what is happening has the potentiality to bring growth and understanding to both parties.
However, there remains a constant need to reevaluate the standing of the relationship, in order to keep the relationship from getting out of hand.
The processing can take on different shapes and forms.
Much of the processing will be centered around analysis of the self and analysis of the other participant’s behavior.
It resembles codependency, but is not as long-lasting as codependency behavior, and trickles down and dissipates with time. This obsessive state could last weeks or feasibly a year or more.
The feelings might mimic feelings of what is believed to be the concept of friendship- or romantic-love.
At the onset of a new relationship, some individuals might fall into a state of high-hope, even bliss, based of a type of self-projection into the future, in which the highly imaginiative Aspie can logically recreate a realistic fantasy relationship in his/her head that does not mirror the current relationship but interjects his/her individualized hopes.
Primarily self-awareness, open communication, boundary setting and adjustment, and self-acceptance can assist during the process of building a mutual beneficial relationship.
Still, the complexities of the relationship and effort required to maintain a semblance of normalcy and stability can overwhelm one or both participants, no matter what strategies are initiated.
This fantasy relationship can shift and morph along the same wave pattern as the real relationship, only extending further out into the realm of non-reality.
For example, one might start fantasizing about the first time the friends fly across country to have a cup of tea, and in so doing visualize the tea house, the waiters, the menu, the conversation, and such.
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These are my personal observations about the Aspie to Aspie relationship A relationship between two people with Aspergers, whether platonic or romantic, can move at a very high-speed when in comparison to relationships between one person with Aspergers and one person without Aspergers (Neurotypical: NT).